You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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