Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
