Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
