then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize