I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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