i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
