He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
