I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
