you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
