Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
and she was petting her beer can
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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