Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
