i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
