Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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