sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
