i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
