how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
