Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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