so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
