I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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