The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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