I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
