jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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