she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
