Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just google imaged poop.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

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(647): View more from Ontario

he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

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(517): View more from Michigan

I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex

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(519): View more from Ontario

I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id

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(817): View more from Texas

On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.

(682): View more from Texas

Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"

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(614): View more from Ohio

Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha

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