It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
