He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
