Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
