Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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