I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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