doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
