Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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