I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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