Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
