Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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