In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
