Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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