I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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