Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My feet surprised me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
