Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I intend to get homeless drunk
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
