i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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