ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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