you traded sex for a burrito?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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