I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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