i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
zippers are such a cool invention
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
