Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
