I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
God, I missed his penis.
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