the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
