i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
