I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
