just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
